Inside a State Visit with Kate Middleton and Prince William: 'It's a Form Of Theater,' Says Etiquette Expert

Simon PerryTue, March 17, 2026 at 6:43 PM UTC

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Prince William and Kate Middleton at the state banquet on Dec. 3, 2025Credit: Aaron Chown / POOL / AFP via Getty -

Kate Middleton and Prince William may make their roles helping host a state visit look easy, but it's all in the preparation

Social etiquette and decorum coach William Hanson has observed this at close quarters and has years of experience and advice

He runs his expert eye over the big royal setpiece

When they take their places at the state banquet held in honor of the Nigerian President on March 18, Kate Middleton and Prince William will give all the aura of knowing the pitfalls and protocols that could unseat them or their guests.

That's because it is something they have become accustomed to, having helped host their first state visit alongside the late Queen Elizabeth in 2015 when she entertained the Chinese President Xi Jinping at Buckingham Palace.

But the smooth running of the showpiece event of the two-day state visit doesn't come without years of experience and unlimited hours of practice, social etiquette coach William Hanson believes.

Hanson, who has worked with six royal households and built an international reputation as an authority on protocol and decorum, says the visits are “a form of theatre,” with each stage rehearsed and the product of decades of well-practiced protocol and set-ups.

“State banquets in any country and particularly in Britain are planned months in advance," he says. "There will have been lots of reconnaissance by the Nigerians visiting London. They will have been shown the state rooms, the St. George’s Hall [where the banquet is held], and the bedrooms. Everything will have been agreed in advance.”

William HansonCredit: Spencer McPherson

He adds, “Everything is rehearsed, and there is almost no room for error. Everyone is a human, and things may happen. But royal households and presidential offices do try to avoid surprises!”

Hanson, who is off on a tour with his “How I Sexted My Boss" podcast partner Jordan North, starting March 20, gives some more insight into what goes into the royal and diplomatic setpieces.

Princess Kate led the way in expanding hairstyles for state banquets.

“Normally for white tie, if you have long hair, you wear it tied up and back,” he says, pointing out that this was because if there was dancing, you wouldn’t want your flowing locks flicking into your partner. But there's no dancing at banquets anymore. “At the last couple, Catherine’s hair was very down and looked fantastic. Those of us in etiquette land went, "Oh!’ as it is not technically what has happened before.”

“If the Princess of Wales, a future queen, is wearing her hair down, and if you have long hair and want to wear it down, that’s fine because there is a precedent. That’s often how these things start.”

Similiarly, Queen Camilla, when she was Duchess of Cornwall, and Kate, when she was Duchess of Cambridge, stopped wearing gloves “which used to be an absolute must for white tie. But they ditched them even under Queen Elizabeth.”

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Practicality is important when choosing an outfit.

Hanson suggests, “Wear it in, get used to it. Can you sit down in it? You have to wear something that is comfortable and has a bit of give. Many guests may have tried it on once, but what they haven’t done is walk around the house wearing it."

"Get used to wearing a tiara if they are going to wear one, which is only if you have one and you’re married," he adds.

King Charles and Queen camilla at the state banquet on Dec. 3, 2025Credit: Aaron Chown - Pool/Getty

The seating chart for the 160 guests in St. George’s Hall took months of preparation.

“It’s like any dinner party," he says. "So, you want to have the right personalities and that they are nice, decent people and aren’t going to offend or do something wrong and that you’ve got interesting people that the British want to meet and the Nigerians want to meet.”

King Charles takes the lead on who to talk to first.

“If you’re a man, whoever he speaks to first, you go the same way, and if you’re a woman, you go the opposite direction. However, that is a rule that makes sense in Downton Abbey and the Jane Austin era — and you just did it. But it is quite arcane. You do want to make sure you speak to the person on your left as equally as you do the person on your right. Even if that person is a complete bore, think of something to talk to them about so you don’t have your back to someone.”

Another tip: “Once you know you are sitting next to such and such a guest, don’t speak to them until you sit down — don’t waste conversation in the pre-dinner drinks because otherwise you’re going to be very bored during the dinner.”

Something for the Nigerian President to bear in mind: Hanson recalls former President Barack Obama making a minor mistake as the dinner was about to begin when he visited Queen Elizabeth in 2011.

“At the loyal toast, which is the toast to the monarch, he totally fudged it. The loyal toast is simply 'The King’ or Queen, in his case. He said it, and the orchestra started to play the national anthem. But he continued talking over a state symbol. In Britain, we are relatively relaxed about that, but can you imagine talking over the star spangled banner, you’d get sent off to Guantanamo,” he jokes.

"Like a few heads of state in the past, Obama picked up his glass to make the toast. At a state banquet, you stand up, you get everyone standing, say the word — the King — and you do not touch the glass until the end of the national anthem. Then you pick up the glass and raise it in a toast." Obama, he recalls, rather sheepishly, mid-antem, set his glass back down. “It was awkward. He meant well. It wasn’t the biggest faux pas, but he was badly briefed as it has been written about by his protocol officer at the time (and has written about in a book)."

William HansonCredit: Spencer McPherson

One more thing:

“Don’t talk across the table,” he says. “Whether it’s at St. George’s Hall or Buckingham Palace the table is so wide, you’d have to shout. There are 160 odd people there so shouting is not advisable. And you certainly don’t get up in the middle of the dinner and decide to walk over to talk to someone else. Once you are seated, you remain until the King or the visiting head of state stand up and go.”

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